Grief

Betty died.

Just like that. Without checking in first.

            She just . . . . . up and left.

Our long to-do list has no check marks.

First, retirement ran away from us

With no notice took most of our plans

            left sickness in its wake,

                        and death,

                                    and second chances

only remnants of a few tarnished dreams remained.

Yet… together we held onto a tiny sliver of

             hope that we would for sure

go & laugh & visit & share & enjoy 

                        

We did not know that our hope 

                                                melted

                                                              drip by drop

                                                

and with no warning

            left us empty, rudderless, with only a broken compass.

           

Anger boils up inside me

            spews out

                        erupts

                                    screams.

Eyes red, heart ripped, soul drained

           

            I wonder.

                        Why.

One day, your contagious laugh that is hidden in my memory will reopen my heart.

But not today.