Friday, September 21, 2012

Tears in the Night

Restless Legs is a real and evil THING that jars you out of a sweet, deep sleep at 3:00 a.m.

 The legs wiggle, stretch, squirm, kick. The body turns, flops, stretches, writhes.

The mind struggles itself into the edges of wakefulness. Finally, wide awake, you remember there is nothing to calm the legs except to walk and WALK and WALK. Throwing back the warm blanket, you get to your feet.

Owwwww ohhhhhhh !!!!  The knee! The good knee!! Red hot pain streaks through your old, feeble body and as you fall backwards on the bed, hot tears and deep sobs fill the quiet night.

 * * * *
At least Dear Heart does not wear his hearing aids at night.

          I hobble through the house until the “good-knee-gone-bad” yells, “Either you stop walking on me or I’m buckling!”

The restless legs twitch has eased and I manage to get propped in my recliner with ice bags around the good-knee-gone-bad. “Now what?” I ask the walls.

Your Bible is within arm’s reach.

Oh. Of course.

I turn to Psalm 143 and begin reading. About three weeks ago, I “discovered” this prayer of David’s and immediately claimed it as my own prayer against my own demon, Restless Legs Syndrome. True to professional research findings, this torturing condition has intensified and increased for me as I have grown older.

 RLS is a vicious wicked circle….

Stress and anxiety exacerbate attacks

resulting in fragmented sleep

bringing forth stress and anxiety and depression

causing more attacks

until jagged sleep deprivation

          starts the leg attacks over


I read the psalm out loud. Again. My tears subside. I breathe slowly. In and out. Deeply. Out and in.

 The red-hot pain in the good-knee-gone-bad has eased and I gently untangle pillows and ice packs and carefully limp back to bed. Wrapped again in my warm blanket on my own bed, I drift into a quiet sleep at 4:55 a.m.

           The alarm sounds at 7:00 a.m. and I stumble into another foggy day empty of healing sleep but clinging to a hope that this day God’s mercy will bring my soul out of hideous rls trouble.

 May God’s sweet mercy touch you in a loving way.


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