More on 76 and Counting……

     I don’t “do” resolutions. At all. But a HUGE list grows longer and more desperate by the minute as I wander around in this unknown, winding, sometimes treacherous, and always exciting journey through this the most unusual quarter of my life.

Last fall, as we prepared for Grandson’s wedding and for my pop-in-and-out routine knee replacement surgery, things got slightly out of control. Storage wise. I did not worry much because the plan was for me to be home and healthy and able to take care of storage and other important stuff well before Christmas.

Believe me, I learned (the hard way) that the old saying is oh-so-very-true:

 

‘SO MUCH TO CLEAN OUT………….. SO LITTLE TIME’

1. Hard Manual Household Labor SCREAMS

This house MUST be cleaned OUT:

Our office.
My office Closet
Books / Book Cases
My desk
Dear Heart's Desk
Our Filing Cabinets
     Stuff !!!!!!
Our Bathroom Closet—linens, extras, meds, first aid, and

STUFF

The inside hall store room—seasonal holidays, wrapping, out of season clothes, and

STUFF

The outside storage room. You don’t even want to know.

An added problem is that, one by one, the young men who helped me with back-breaking and knee-suffering jobs like these through the years have: grown up and/or moved away: or, gone into other more lucrative and stable employment.

*sigh*

Must find new helpers because the REALITY of this quarter of my life is that it is impossible for me to do these things by myself ANY LONGER.

Must be done.
Gotta do it.
And I mean, savagely. With reckless abandon. Wildly.
Throw away. Give away. Rearrange. Throw away more. Organize. Add more to the give-away stack.

It WILL GET DONE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. Now. Quiet Time. For Morning Prayer

 

“In the morning give us your mercy in full measure; so that we may have joy and delight all our days.”

                                                                                         (Psalm 90:14, BBE) 

Isn't it sweet to serve a God who loves us and invited us to receive his joy and delight... in ALL our days?

 

May God's sweetest blessings fill each of your mornings.

     Liz

Who Are They Calling ELDERLY???

Don’t you just NOT LIKE IT AT ALL when you read …..

 “Use this medicine (or treatment or whatever) with caution in the ELDERLY…..”

Huh?????

 Who chose to identify ME as ELDERLY ???

I ask you: when does one fall into the description / category….

The ELDERLY. ?????????

How do you know if you are ELDERLY?

 

Is there a magic time? Is there an invisible mark on the wall?

Okay, so . . .

                    What about AGED?

Good wine, good bourbon, and really good cheeses are FABULOUS when AGED.

I believe the description is: aged to perfection.

Ahhhhhh I can somehow maybe deal with AGED.

           What about being MATURE?

Honey, let me tell you: I’ve earned every single strand of my WHITE HAIR. It yells volumes. As do EACH of my wrinkles. MATURE is actually a great compliment. Believe me, I've learned a LOT in all these years and can tell anybody how to do anything (if they would just ASK ME !!) !!!

 But - - ELDERLY ????  

• I don’t mind being a senior citizen.
• I don’t mind being mature.
• I don’t mind being a wise older lady.
• Aged and Mature – well…. okay.

BUT……let me just say while I can still speak for myself….  my whole system breaks down and BALKS at

ELDERLY

Yes, I am WELL aware that one week from today my birthday cake will glow (loudly) with SEVENTY-SIX candles and will most likely set off the smoke alarm.

But, I will NOT accept

ELDERLY

      So, is it my attitude? My dress? My voice?

My ….. What is it that makes ME elderly  ????????????

I admit it……

          I am tired.

          I move slowly.

          I have a LOT of aches and pains.

          LOTS and LOTS of health challenges.

          I sometimes search for words.

          I slip easily into memory lane trips.

HOWEVER,  I remind you: I’ve earned a little rest and a lot of respect.

And I want it NOW.

                So, please: Don’t call me

ELDERLY

 Now that I've spoken my piece, please go forth to enjoy your day. I hope your February day is as nice as it is in Texas..... cool, sunny, and breezy.

Hugs, Blessings, and

 

            

And You Thought My Words Were Gone....

You have probably noticed—if you remembered to drop by at all—that this blog has been silent for a VERY long time.

 Yes.

 And No, I am NOT going to itemize all the things that have happened since I whined about these restless legs back in my September post…… even though I assure you it is a most legitimate whine. Generally, I just live with it. Mostly.

But, I do have a word or two of my own for you and I found a quote I am excited to share with you. I hope it blesses your day.

First, my own SHORT words. I don’t know if any of you stumbled across my NEW blog I spent months creating. I started it when I turned SEVENTY-FIVE years OLD last year. I was DETERMINED to keep a stiff upper lip, a smile on those lips, and a happy glint in my eyes as I grew older and older. I named my new blog: Finishing Life Gracefully. Yes. I WOULD be a GRACEFUL and LOVELY and ADORABLE old woman.

You can access the blog here. Probably.  http://finishinglifegracefully.blogspot.com/

 Okay. Did you go read my positive and exciting words about giving thanks and being grateful and living out my last days GRACEFULLY?

Well. I have THREE little words for you :

 Old Age STINKS.

And, old age can catch you by surprise. And GRACEFUL went out the window about 12 weeks ago. Most days, I am NOT a very nice woman.

Enough negative????????????????

 Good. Now to words that will perhaps inspire you and make all things better.

 Yesterday, I found a quote on Hope Clark’s blog. She is a writer and she blogs about writers and writing. Like many of us, she did many things in her life before she began writing “out in the open.” She has always written but, like many of us in our early years, she wrote secretly. You can read her complete blog for January 31, 2013 here http://hopeclark.blogspot.com if you like. She is a fun read!

But first, come into the scene with me:

I’m tired. I’m in pain. I’ve had a hard day. I’ll be SEVENTY-SIX years old in about three weeks. I open her e-mail that contains her blog and commence reading.

Hope Clark, the expert on writers and writing, happily gives me several points to ponder and then tells me to stop pondering and get to writing.

THEN she stops preaching and goes to meddling when she quotes George Eliot. ----You do know who George is--- right? George was actually Mary Anne Evans (November 11, 1819 – December 22, 1880), an English novelist and a leading writer of the Victorian era. She chose a pen name to ensure her works would be taken seriously. Of course, today’s sources from Google debate whether Ms/Mr.Eliot actually said this or not. I suggest we just accept it as a quote worth considering and go from there?????

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

 Hummmmm. Well . . . . . Maybe so. Maybe not.

 However, I promise you that Hope Clark’s personal comment is EXCELLENT:

“Don't worry about what might have been or what you neglected to take advantage of. As long as you are breathing, you are still on your journey.”

 And we just can’t stop there. As long as I am doing my best to find the BEST in life, especially in these time of sickness, hospitals, having to depend on another person to meet every one of my needs, and medications that make one crazy beyond belief..

it was great fun to discover Marcus Tullius Cicero. WHO  ????, you ask.

Marcus was a Roman politician, lawyer, and orator who lived from 106 BC to 43 BC… according to one source on Google. Among other achievements, Marcus was a philosopher which means my grandson John is probably one of his friends. Anyway. He is supposed to have said:

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.”

Sort of like today. Huh???????????????

But wait!! He ALSO said--- now pay attention. This is worthy:

 “Where there’s life, there’s hope.”

I can hang my hat on that one!! Because I know Jesus Christ and because I have very recently knocked loudly at death’s door and then I was given the opportunity to come home to hug my human loved ones, there IS HOPE.

Of course, I saved a goodie for last. If you don’t find substance and joy and delight in this quote, just go back to your computer game and leave the living to the rest of us who cut herbs and underline important things in books.

“If you have a garden and a library,

you have everything you need.”

Thank you Mr. Cicero. I WILL keep my hope alive to plant my spring garden this year.

 Thank YOU, Hope Clark for pushing me to put words on the pages of my computer screen, even when I think I have no words.

 

THANK YOU…. to all of you who have kept in touch, checked on me and my family, sent cards, written e-mails, telephoned, and prayed through all this long three months. You have provided much joy and I have real hope that my health will return with vim, vigor, and vitality very SOON.

          Blessings,
               Liz

 

Tears in the Night

Restless Legs is a real and evil THING that jars you out of a sweet, deep sleep at 3:00 a.m.

 The legs wiggle, stretch, squirm, kick. The body turns, flops, stretches, writhes.

The mind struggles itself into the edges of wakefulness. Finally, wide awake, you remember there is nothing to calm the legs except to walk and WALK and WALK. Throwing back the warm blanket, you get to your feet.

Owwwww ohhhhhhh !!!!  The knee! The good knee!! Red hot pain streaks through your old, feeble body and as you fall backwards on the bed, hot tears and deep sobs fill the quiet night.

 * * * *

 

At least Dear Heart does not wear his hearing aids at night.

          I hobble through the house until the “good-knee-gone-bad” yells, “Either you stop walking on me or I’m buckling!”

The restless legs twitch has eased and I manage to get propped in my recliner with ice bags around the good-knee-gone-bad. “Now what?” I ask the walls.

Your Bible is within arm’s reach.

Oh. Of course.

I turn to Psalm 143 and begin reading. About three weeks ago, I “discovered” this prayer of David’s and immediately claimed it as my own prayer against my own demon, Restless Legs Syndrome. True to professional research findings, this torturing condition has intensified and increased for me as I have grown older.

 RLS is a vicious wicked circle….

Stress and anxiety exacerbate attacks

resulting in fragmented sleep

bringing forth stress and anxiety and depression

causing more attacks

until jagged sleep deprivation

          starts the leg attacks over

                    AGAIN.

I read the psalm out loud. Again. My tears subside. I breathe slowly. In and out. Deeply. Out and in.

 The red-hot pain in the good-knee-gone-bad has eased and I gently untangle pillows and ice packs and carefully limp back to bed. Wrapped again in my warm blanket on my own bed, I drift into a quiet sleep at 4:55 a.m.

           The alarm sounds at 7:00 a.m. and I stumble into another foggy day empty of healing sleep but clinging to a hope that this day God’s mercy will bring my soul out of hideous rls trouble.

 May God’s sweet mercy touch you in a loving way.

         Liz

Just Sayin . . . .

Did you ever have “one of those” days ????

Yesterday, I experienced a sneaky presence of the Holy Spirit.

And I’m just an ordinary, every-day, human, sinner. Who is saved by Grace.

I’m nobody important. No particular ministry. Just a person of

HUGE faults.

                    Many failures.

                              Awful sins.                                                     

In fact, I am absolutely and certifiably “CHIEF of sinners.”

          With massive needs.

But, yesterday I went forward. Into a day that started with a long phone visit with my sister-in-law, Jan and was immediately followed with a positive, loving e-mail from a friend encouraging me in many ways.

I did not want to go forward because my GOOD knee screamed for me to STOP. SIT. STAY.

Sorry, knee. I had just slept for almost SEVEN straight hours. As soon as I woke and realized WOW !!! I SLEPT, I spent the next hour telling God THANK YOU. I mean … for this Restless Legs Junkie, seven hours is a HUGE gift; I was grateful and determined to handle the day responsibly.

After the first four errands, I dropped into the rocking chair on my back porch to visit, via cell phones, with a wise friend whose heart is for helping people find joy. I discovered a tiny smile that enabled me to continue with my day.

About noon, I was confronted with a hard choice: We needed groceries. Desperately. Well, energy had been granted. *sigh* okay. Go to HEB super market.

((( Parenthesis. The last few days had been… interesting but most difficult. Several friends are struggling with really big issues. And I have actually, specifically prayed for them. For mercy, grace, energy, healing, energy, grace, mercy… for my friends. Truthfully, there are SO many times I mention the needs of my friends in a fleeting manner then hurry to scream, beg, cry out to God for…… you guessed it: MYSELF.

I mean, being a wife, mother, grandmother, stepmother, friend, neighbor, aunt, sister, neighbor is downright hard and I NEED God’s instruction, leading, wisdom, strength, mercy, Grace, and help so that I can serve. Believe me, I require a LOT of God’s time. Just to hobble across the street requires MUCH help and love and mercy from our Holy Father. )))

But, for three days I literally FORGOT to pray for myself, for God’s intervention to keep me directed, for my own understanding. I simply prayed for others. I didn’t plan it—I’m not that disciplined or obedient. Yet, as each friend / family member came to mind, I lifted that person up to the everlasting love of our Triune God.

I just forgot about Liz.

Okay. Fast forward to the grocery store.

My GOOD knee screamed, Take me home; I can’t do this; it HURTS.

Ignoring the knee, I continued up one aisle and down the other. Then my basket LITERALLY (..accidently??? . . .) ran into the basket pushed by a friend I have not seen in about 3 months. Although lately, I’ve prayed for her a lot. ???

Oh my!! What a joyous visit right at the soups & canned veggie aisle. I learned specific things she deeply needs covered in prayer. AND she said meaningful and powerful things that specifically boosted me HIGH on my rocky journey. Just before she and I parted, another lady’s basket ran into ours. Oops….

The new basket belonged to a second friend who has been on my heart for reasons unknown to me. ???

Quick goodbye to Friend A. Happy hello to Friend B.

Another long visit. She and I moved our baskets around cookies so other shoppers could reach fine cheeses and we shared things of our two rocky roads that the other did not know.

Quiet, Knee !!! There is MORE shopping to do; Hush !  I’ll hurry.

Finally!! Made it to produce !!! Almost done. I have no memory of turning or looking up… just the pain in my throbbing knee. But I am absolutely certain that I felt a physical  please-pay-attention “thunk” !!!

          Friend C’s basket was a dozen steps away and she did not see me. As if in slow motion, I left my basket—and my purse—next to mushrooms and crossed the space between us in half a breath. She looked up and our embrace was instant, loving, sincere.

Over many years, we’ve shared more than a simple blog post can convey… life, death, praying, doubt, fear, death, praying, and life.

And, she has been in my mind, on my heart a lot lately.  ???

In the produce section on an ordinary September afternoon, my friend was in my arms. We spoke of our faith—grown stronger in our aging years; of our recent wedding anniversaries and our husbands’ increasing frailties; and of course of our longing to see her daughter—who was taken from us several years ago in a sudden death straight into the arms of Jesus. Finally, my wise friend shared how she has learned that, as we look back, we see for certain that God always and absolutely gets there first and prepares the way.

The knee grew quiet as I bagged my own groceries for an overworked checker. Softness cuddled my heart as I navigated crazy traffic. Amazement softened painful thoughts when, back home, I handled first one crisis and then another.

 WOW!! God really has been there all along.

 He knows. He cares. He actually understands.

God IS right there in the middle of my HERE and NOW.

These three friends of mine do not know the others. The only thing they all have in common (besides a friendship with me, thank You, Father!) is their individual love of Jesus Christ.

And.

J is the first letter of the first name of each of my three friends.

Just sayin . . . .

                   . . . . maybe God was determined that I should listen and learn. J.

 May YOUR day also be filled with the blessings of prayer.

      Liz

Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin

against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you;

And may all of us

fear the Lord and serve Him faithfully

with all our hearts and consider

how great are the things He has done for us.

Taken from 1 Samuel 12:23-24 NIV